I came to an interesting point while lost in the pit of thought.

Have you ever just picked apart ’swear words.’ Words are just words when it all comes down to it. ‘Shit’ was just an abbreviated warning stamped onto bags of fertilizer, “Ship High In Transpot.” “Fuck” comes from the german word ‘Frichen’ which means to strike.
Another supposed origin of the word comes from the time when british criminals were shipped off to australia, the country’s penal colony. If a man had raped a woman his paperwork would be filled out, “For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge.” Eventually this was abbreviated.

Have you ever wondered why people use ‘Jesus Christ’ to swear? Why does one not shout ‘Buddha!’ or ‘Muhammad!’ when they’re surprised or angry?

Is it just the sounds of these words that make them vulgar? The fact that they have that harsh melody to them? Maybe people say Jesus because its so frowned upon, and a lot of the world was catholic or christian at some point. As kids we’re made to feel dirty when we say them. Its interesting what impact words can have.

Pro-choice?

Abortion. Even the word has an unfinished air about it. I feel like its a cop out. For those who do it out of selfishness- the people involved in this unborn child’s existance don’t want the troubles of having to support and care for someone that THEY are responsible for creating. If someone feels they are mature enough to have sex, don’t you think they should take on the responsibility of a possible child? Thats what sex is there for, to reproduce. Its selfish to say that it would be “inconveniant” and make the choice to just rid of a life. The argument is that the lifeform growing inside of a woman is not ‘alive’ until a certain stage. Well let me just define the word ‘living’ for you.

To be alive you must meet these requirments:
1) Growth (the baby is growing obviously)
2)Reproduction (although the reproductive organs are not yet identifiable, they are developing)
3)Obtaining nutrients (Transferred from the mom to the baby)
4)Respiration(The baby gets oxygen from the umbilical cord)
5)Interact by stimuli response (respond to sugar stimuli for example)
6)Adapt/evolve(evolves from one cell)
7)Made up of cells(it even starts as one)
8)Excretion(excretes urine into the amniotic sac)

A fetus meets all of these requirments, so in scientific theory, it is alive. Some people argue that it cannot breathe on its own, or ’think’ so its not ‘human’ or ‘alive’. Well answer me this then. If someone gets in a car accident and need to be hooked up to an IV and oxygen machine, are they any less alive or human than the rest of us? When someone grows old and their heart and liver begin to fail, and they cant walk or function as we can, should we kill them because they dont live up to human standards? You may think that thats a totally different story, but its not. Abortion is usually done around 6 weeks, which is actually the babies 4th week since they start counting after the woman’s last period. At this time, there are already brain waves being recorded and the heart is beating. Some women even get abortions when the baby is 20-24 weeks old, and there is evidence that the baby can feel extreme pain. The procedure (a ‘partial birth’ abortion) involves the doctor first grabbing the baby’s leg with forceps, pulling it out into the birth canal, and delivering the baby so that just the head is left inside the mother. The doctor then jabs scissors into the babies skull and opens them to enlarge the hole where a suction catheter is inserted and the baby’s brains are suctioned out. The skull collapses and the dead baby is removed. Babies born at 24 weeks have more than a 50% chance of survival!

A good question is if its right for a woman raped by her father, or just raped in general, to abort the child. If put in that situation I have no honest idea what I would do. I understand why women would do it, its just a matter of moral standing. I think its wrong for a woman to think that the baby is a part of their body so its their choice if it lives or not. It only has half of her chromosomes first of all, and the woman is just acting as a home or habitat for the baby until it can survive outside. If a woman is unhappy with this, and thinks that she should have the rights to her own body and in so having those rights doesnt want this child using her as a home, then she shouldn’t have sex. We can live without sex, but wouldnt have been alive today if our mothers had had abortions.

pro-choice

adjective

advocating a woman’s right to control her own body

So can I choose to commit suicide? Isn’t that controlling my own body, to end my life?

Yes, I am fully aware that this is my own maybe even naive opinion, but forming your own opinions is almost like creating yourself. I’d rather create myself rather than a cheap model of another.

Feminism

First of all, looking back theres obviously been a lot of changes in women’s rights but dont you think theyre going a bit too far? To say that a woman has a rights to her own body, and in having said rights, can dispose of a life just beginning who happens to inhabit her uterus is just a little ridiculous. People say that the world would be excessively peaceful if women were to rule or govern all of the countries. Thats such a load. We have catty, jealous traits. Generally speaking of course. What are the chances that every woman ruler will be compassionate and morally ground? If women can influence their husbands to do awful things, whos to say they would be responsible and totally peaceful if they were given all of the power? Its human nature to be angry, and if someones angry enough and has the power to do so they’ll induce war. If given power no one knows how they would wield it. One woman would get jealous over another woman’s man and start some useless war, claiming some reason to get the people all riled up. I think men were always cut out to have dominance. I dont say this because I think men better than us, by no means. Its just us women over analyze things and think on such an emotional level, anyone could look at us in a certain way and we’d interpret it wrong and go to war. Men think logically, and more on the surface about important things instead of getting into a reverie or taking everything so personally. I just think we should submit and not try so hard to prove ourselves, men know what we are. 

‘Emotional’ music?

Its odd how songs can fill you with emotions of the past. The memories dont even come to mind, because most of the time I dont know what I associate with this song, theres just this strange welling of emotion there for no reason apparent to my knowledge. The whole death cab CD brings back the feelings of summer and the mood I was constantly in, its not like the mood is shoved abruptly upon me, its just there, not even in my brain but floating around me. It kind of makes me yearn for the past, but if I went back sir Im sure it would be a nightmare. To be able to remember the feelings I used to have is kind of pleasant.

This makes me think of behind-thoughts. Sometimes I know I’m thinking of something but I dont know what it is, sometimes it even feels like my minds participating in some amazingly genious thinking pattern but it wont reveal it. Frustration at its maximum. Morning thoughts are the best. Theres a weird hazy bit of sleep that you can be in where everything makes sense no matter how ridiculous, one morning I was thoroughly convinced I had to create a balanced formula equation with CO2 and H20 incorporated before I could let myself have a shower. I lay there half asleep trying with all my sleep rusted brain caught earnestly battering itself up over this silly problem, ten minutes passed, and I realized that although I would be expelling CO2 and bathing in H2O, it hardly had anything to do with my sleep to cleanliness ratio

Another time I walked in late into the night, and my little sister bolted upright and said quite loudly for someone so deep in sleep “I’ve seen you so many times!” I was so baffled so I got her to repeat it, asking “How many times?” to which she answered “I dont know…I dont know….” and she drifted back to her incogitative state.
I’m determined to have a full length conversation with someone whos half asleep. Who knows, maybe they can tell me of some deadly useful information. Is ones mind unprotected, vulnerable, when asleep? Could they betray themselves truly? I often wonder why people always want to know what the people dearest to them have kept hidden. Its all purely for their own benefit, and the funny thing is it usually ends up ruining them. Everyone has secrets which may or may not be considered ‘large’. It depends who you tell, really.

Ode to the News

North-East-West-South……….

Is news actually from all around the world? There is in fact several countries they leave out of the worldly news. Its all a matter of who owns these newspapers, see. If the person owning these papers, or news channels, is anti-semitic then if some journalist was to write about a jewish someone they would surely be fired and sent off to search for another job. Now is that fair? Should the NEWS be censored in such a way that people who depend on it to know whats going on in our troubled world are kept from learning of what exactly is happening over in Israel? This of course is just an example. I’m sure that if you’re old enough to be reading a small-print rather boring grey shaded smelly pile of paper, you can handle the reality of some of the things they ‘censor’ out. A canadian paper was ridiculed for their use of the word ‘terrorist’. While editing their story for ’style’ as they put it, they decided to reconstruct this— ”…the al-Aqsa Martyrs Brigades, which has been involved in a four-year-old revolt against Israeli occupation in Gaza and the West Bank.”— into this—”…the al-Aqsa Martyrs Brigades, a terrorist group that has been involved in a four-year-old campaign of violence against Israel.”    For such a small word it sure made an impact.  The necessity of this word was not great. To add it for affect is totally pointless. The fact that they butter up the stories for our ‘entertainment’ is sick. I’m not entertained by the fact that people are getting persecuted just because they happen to fit the description of a stereo-typical ‘terrorist’. I dont want to think I’m being updated on the world’s going-ons, when really I’m just being hand fed a load of BS from some rich guy who approves false imformation. This is probably all widely known, but its still rather upsetting.

Another thing that really gets me is this. A good majority of people don’t even read their papers. It takes 500,000 trees to make just one day of papers for those people in the US. They throw out 90% of them. The other day I walked past this house, on its lawn there were about 6 different newspapers strewn about carelessly, like they’d stocked up on them and let the wind cast them about. The funny thing was, I walked by about 3 or 4 days later and they were still there. I’m sure theres atleast one paper per street lying there unread and most likely wet. How the heck do they all end up there? It cant be too good for the world we apparently care so much about. I dont think you have to be some tree hugger or animal-rights activist to care about all of the garbage or trees getting cut down. The garbage is from all of the lazy people who can’t walk 2 steps to a can, the trees are getting cut down to make chairs for the lazy people to sit in. If this planet doesn’t exist, neither do we. We can’t sit here and count on another planet to suddenly become suitable to live on, because thats just ignorant. Its not even that we take it for granted, we’ve just allowed ourselves and our spawn to become so lazy that we are now products of moral ambiguity. Take the time to actually LEARN whats going on around you, being ignorant puts you behind which is the last place to be in a world obsessed with war and peace.

Depression at its finest

Its a strange thing.
When in the state of depression it feels like theres a huge mass of negative energy weighing down the emotions and it can’t be lifted off no matter what you do. In a way I think people over exaggerate it. They fill themselves up with self-pity and don’t give ROOM for a better state of mind. Maybe they like basking in their hard feelings. I dont think someone should have to take pills to be happy, but then, theres clinical depression. This affects 16% of the population atleast once in their lives, where there are twice as many females as males. Has anyone ever stopped to think about what makes a person depressed? Is it the things happening around them? The state of the world, their family life, relationships…Or is it really just a chemical imbalance.
The Great Depression was caused by the fall of the stock market; banks were forced into insolvency and millions lost their jobs. Is this decade labelled as such because the people of the time fell into states of depression or because the economy suffered? I wonder if any of those folks, if brought into todays society could’ve been diagnosed with ‘clinical depression.’
Can one actually be ‘born’ with depression, when the world has not yet left even an insignificant mark on mind or life in general?
Van gogh was believed to have suffered from depression, in several letters to Theo van Gogh he tells of his helpless state, he described his feeling as such:

“But I am so angry with myself now because I cannot do what I should like to do, and at such a moment one feels as if one were lying bound hand and foot a the bottom of a deep, dark well, utterly helpless.”

But what was this brought on by? He also goes on to say that bathing helped to ease his mind and sort of rid of his melancholy mood atleast temporarily. His letters show that it was reoccurring, but he tried his best to fend it off, sometimes to no avail.

“Now I have recovered enough so that I got up again last night and rummaged around, straightening things. When the model came of her own accord this morning, though I only half expected her, I put her into the right pose with Mauve’s help and tried to draw a little; but I could not do it, and I felt miserable and weak the whole evening. But if I rest a few more days, it will be over, and I need not be afraid of its coming back soon if I am careful.”

How does one be “careful’? How did Van Gogh fend it off, or avoid it? His committing suicide shows that his mind gave way to “the melancholy that despairs numbly and in distress.”

There will always be depression, but theres no reason to have it in such large numbers of people. Theres even a type of race for it if I may, and that would be the “Emos” of our time, who are infact not even depressed. They force themselves into artificial depression to be ‘different’ or seek attention which they claim to avoid at all costs. Forcing oneself into depression is just about the dumbest thing to do for attention, aside for attempting suicide. The ‘emos’ aren’t even committed enough to try and kill themselves properly.

Being happy or sad shouldn’t take energy, it should come naturally. Both emotions are healthy to have, and the former cannot be had in excess, where the latter can, so friggin bask in happiness. You’ll most likely live longer.

Gesticulation!

Ahh the fated blog.
I was sitting in a coffee shop at some point today as my friend and her boyfriend fought feverishly over videos containing him and another woman. This might sound tragic, but since I haven’t or won’t finish the story you will never know exactly what happened in that smelly cafe. I came to a realization. You know those times when you’re sitting and realize theres a song playing in the distance, so you call to your friend and point upwards? Have you ever realized the radio is not located in the ceiling so pointing to it just looks a bit ridiculous if someone looks up and theres nothing but a blank canvas? It’s interesting that we use this gesture to indicate we’re talking about the music playing. Obviously the chances of us knowing exactly WHERE the music device is situated is kinda slim, so we point vaguely into the air.

Theres people who act over excited about everything. You know they’re not even excited in the least, but they insist on bouncing about and being non-sensical. They shout things like “COOL!” and “AWESOME” when no ones even said anything, and I think its because they feel uncomfortable in their own skin. They can’t stand a silence because they feel pressured to talk, or that its so very awkward that no ones talking. Basking in silence is great. Thinking is great. Its the one thing no one can monitor or tell you how to do.